It's HER birthday! ... and I can cry if I want to.

Dear "A",

Happy 6th birthday to you! ...our sweet, sweet and much loved daughter.

We hope you are having a happy day full of love and hugs. Your daddy and I are so sad we are not able to be there to celebrate your birthday with you. You are getting so big, and have turned 4, 5, and now 6 since we started your adoption process. We wish so much that it were different, and know that we are missing out on so much of your life, and learning to know what makes you YOU. Most of all, we want you to know how much you are loved by us, and how precious you are. There is no doubt in our minds that you are super special, and we can't wait to go through life with you.

I went to a Christmas concert {Behold the Lamb of God} by Andrew Peterson last night, and helped out at the Show Hope booth to advocate for the support of orphans. I talked about you to people that stopped by the booth, and would tell them of our journey to bring you home. When I tell people about our adoption process, I tell them that no matter how hard it has been for us, you are so worth every bit of the journey... we would do it all over again for you. Without a doubt. The crazy and very sad thing about this whole journey is we don't know what your journey has been like...like what has happened in your six short years of life-- what do you remember...what emotions do you feel...are you lonely...what makes you happy or sad...?

Daddy and I wonder what you have been up to this past year. We pray you are happy and healthy, and we hope you know that you have a family that loves you. We would be so happy to get a new picture of you. We are praying that someone can send us one because we are sure you have changed a lot over a whole year.

One thing you should know is Grandpa and Grandma bought us a Boba carrier for you, and Daddy and I fully intend to plop you in it when we come to pick you up... I just thought I should mentally prepare you for the ride of your lifetime, and I am really hoping you don't protest about being toted around in that crazy thing because it's pretty important that you learn to trust us, and like to hang out with us.

After the concert last night, I headed to Old Navy because they were open until MIDNIGHT! I decided a little midnight partying for the eve of your birthday was in order...what I really wanted was a doughnut, but I've had too many of those in the past couple of years, so I've been trying to be a good girl and not eat those silly things! Anyway, I made the wise choice (skipped the doughnuts) and just headed straight to Old Navy because I had a coupon and some credit card rewards. I thought it was time to buy you a winter coat, hat, and gloves since I'm pretty sure you are not going to be used to this frigid weather, and well, I guess since I'm your mom, it would be a good idea to maybe make sure you have a coat for freezing weather. I'm believing that we are going to need that winter coat for you soon. I hope it fits! I think you'll like your coat... it is bright pink with a fur trimmed hood.

"A"... you have so many people that can't wait to meet you. Lots of cousins, family, little friends, and big friends that are eager to see who you are, and give you lots of love. These same people pray lots and lots for you. They pray that you come home soon. Daddy and I pray the same, and you are on our hearts all the time.

We love you so much, and are praying we get to see you oh, so very soon!

Daddy and Mommy

p.s. I still have your birthday cake from last year (it was Styrofoam covered with icing) sitting on top of our refrigerator. It doesn't look the best anymore but I'm not getting rid of it until you get to see it too. I'm kind of stubborn like that... you'll see.